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Lessons from Early Adulthood: Embracing Wisdom and Genuine Connections

Ravi Speaks:

We had an illusion of being the brightest in our college days:

It was during my early adulthood, reminiscing about my days at GGM Science College in 1978. Back then, I considered myself an exceptionally bright individual, as most fresh college-goers do. This belief stemmed from my outstanding performance in the Matriculation examination, leading me to hold my intellectual abilities in high regard. People often referred to it as an attitude. I used to associate intelligence solely with higher scores, believing that one’s intelligence quotient could be determined by their academic achievements. However, with time, I came to realize that true maturity lies not only in academic success but also in overall conduct, general knowledge, and the embodiment of noble values. Looking back, I acknowledge the immaturity that clouded my judgment at the time.

Students of my stature:

I wonder if others in the same phase of early college life shared similar perspectives to mine. Did they possess the same mind-set and approach? Was it a common characteristic among students of my stature?

My Maternal Grandmother:

I was fortunate to have a loving grandmother, whom I affectionately called Maaji. She adored me dearly, and I became the envy of others within our household, consisting of six children. Aside from myself, there was my younger sister and four of my maternal uncle’s daughters. Our ages were close, with only a one-year gap between each of us, and I held the third position in the line-up. Maaji would gather us together and serve us food on a large tray, usually boiled rice with a choice of vegetables. She would lovingly feed each one of us, and we cherished those moments when she fed us with her own hand. Looking back now, I realize that her actions filled our hearts with love and warmth while instilling a deep reverence for her in each of us.

My perception was wrong:

I recall studying in the early hours of the morning, around 5:00 AM, when I would sense someone peeping into my room through the window. They would use a broom to discreetly draw back the curtain, hoping I wouldn’t notice. I would pretend not to notice, oblivious to their presence. It was Maaji, checking to see if I was still asleep or studying diligently. Although her intentions were caring, I interpreted it as an attempt to catch me sleeping during those early hours. At the time, I felt a certain way about her actions, but now I understand that she was trying to make us comprehend the significance of our crucial moments, which could shape our future careers dramatically.

My wife’s special affinity with Maaji:

Years later, when I got married in 1989, Maaji grew fond of my wife. Whenever I ask my wife about the most impressive person from my family, she always mentions Maaji. My grandmother took excellent care of her and imparted her wisdom in a traditional manner, emphasizing the importance of early rising, a disciplined work ethic, and fulfilling the responsibilities expected within our joint family. My wife was greatly influenced by her orthodox yet endearing ways.

Wisdom and Maturity of Elders:

Reflecting on various instances from the past, I now realize that our elders possessed wisdom and maturity beyond measure. Their actions were a means of imparting valuable lessons to us, the inexperienced newcomers. It was up to us to determine how we would perceive and apply their advice. If we had embraced it from the right perspective, our careers and personalities would have flourished.

The tragic incidence taught me a lesson:

During those bygone days, my friends and I embarked on a daily journey of nearly four kilometers to reach college. We would walk together in the morning and, on our return, board the local city bus. I distinctly remember our audacious act of leaping onto the moving bus from the rear, discreetly checking if the conductor was in the front or the back. This wasn’t simply about evading the fare; it was a display of youthful bravado, an attempt to showcase our cleverness to our peers. Looking back, I realize the foolishness of our actions and the valuable lesson it taught me. Tragically, one of my friends, a medical student, attempted to replicate our daring act by jumping onto the moving bus from the front. However, due to the crowded conditions, he lost his grip and fell onto the road. Unluckily, the rear tires of the bus crushed his abdomen, leaving him critically injured. After a year-long hospitalization, he survived, albeit with lifelong disabilities. This incident served as a stark reminder that the perceived bravery of our actions was in fact a misguided and reckless way of gauging our worth and overlooking the true value of life.

My admiration for elders:

Now, at the age of 62, when I reflect upon those times, I am filled with admiration for our elders. They possessed a remarkable ability to impart their wisdom through heartfelt anecdotes, filled with love and class. Their approach was marked by warmth and affection; a quality I yearn to embrace in order to pass it on to the next generation.

Earlier we were close-knit and deeply connected:

During that era, one noteworthy aspect was the strong sense of connection and interaction among people, particularly within close-knit relationships. It was common for individuals to visit one another’s homes and frequently gather for celebratory occasions such as dinner parties and birthdays. This fostered a sense of warmth and camaraderie among people. However, in today’s digital age, despite being more connected through gadgets like mobile phones, the depth of personal connection seems to have diminished. As the saying goes, people may welcome each other, but they don’t truly come together. The physical interaction and face-to-face meetings that once characterized our relationships have been replaced by superficial exchanges, limited to “hellos” over the phone or through online platforms. Consequently, we find ourselves drifting apart rather than growing closer.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, as I look back on my early adulthood, I am humbled by the lessons learned and the wisdom gained. Our elders, through their loving gestures and insightful teachings, guided us in shaping our careers and becoming strong individuals. The memories of those days serve as a reminder of the value of maturity, personal connection, and genuine interactions. Let us strive to uphold these virtues, nurturing them within ourselves and passing them on to future generations.

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