Man and woman holding hands together (depiction of their relationship) Photo by Adobe
Ravi Speaks:
The following article has gotten a very good response of around 92K reader impressions in the leading American journal, “Newsbreak. Looking at its relevance to the present-day scenario, I am hereby reproducing the same for your reading. I would request that you give your comments, which would be useful in building up a constructive opinion for or against “cohabitation.”
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For the past week, almost every household has been shocked to learn about the gruesome killing of Shradha Walker. Many questions have been raised regarding the safety and security of the children as they attain adulthood and financial independence, especially the girls. Hardly there is any parent who has not been seriously getting worried about their girls doing higher studies or working in offices locally or in other states. We must not ignore the fact that times have been changing very fast and the young generation has also been becoming more independent and aspirant to be on their own as fast as possible.
Earlier parents would take the decision of their children exclusively as far as their marriages were concerned and the selection of the boy or the girl would be the responsibility of parents to settle their children in life. Now things are all changed. Young boys and girls would like to spend more time with their so-called partners before taking the decision to get married. For this reason, they prefer living together, and the percentage of such young couples is increasing very fast. To understand this big changeover, let us start by understanding the “live-in” concept, which is also called “cohabitation,” and its pluses and minuses.
What is the live in relation?
A live-in relationship, also known as cohabitation in some countries, is one in which two individuals who have been romantically and sexually connected as partners for a significant amount of time or permanently, choose to live together without getting married. When they want to spend more time together and test out living together before tying the knot, many couples choose to live together.
Yet when queried about it, one such individual who was living with his partner in a similar arrangement prior to marriage responded, “It is weird that the phrase “Live-in” is used in India when the official and legal term is “cohabitation.”
According to the Supreme Court, there is no rule that forbids premarital sex or live-in relationships. The Supreme Court reportedly made reference to Article 21 of the Indian Constitution, which establishes the right to life and personal liberty as fundamental rights, when it stated that “living together is a right to survive.”
The idea of cohabitating with your partner is becoming more and more popular with today’s youth, even if marriage is a more traditional and socially acceptable type of partnership between two people. More and more couples are choosing to get to know each other well before making a commitment.
Are there any advantages of nurturing such a relationship?
When you begin living with someone full-time, you learn about each other’s tiny quirks and begin determining whether you can coexist with your partner. You can determine if this is the person and this is the life you would like after getting married after living with your partner.
There is a lot of pressure on you to get married from society and even your family. There are no such roots keeping you down in live-in relationships. There are no societal pressures as a result. Without involving each other’s families, you have all the private space you require.
In a live-in relationship, it is simple to leave your partner if you do not feel compatible with them sufficiently or even if you learn they are cheating. It’s a much simpler place mentally even if not emotionally.
Many married couples struggle to agree on how to divide their finances. Is the male expected to take care of the house alone, or will they share? However, this issue does not arise when residing there. You share money evenly and establish financial boundaries because you owe each other nothing.
A live-in relationship allows you the time to forge a solid connection and develop a deeper affection for one another, providing you the opportunity to go forward after your relationship has become more secure.
The biggest drawback of a live-in relationship is that it lacks commitment, not the other way around. Human connections are thought to be fragile and complicated. Couples prefer cohabitation to meet their diverse demands because of the stress and obligations that come with marriage.
Causative factors responsible for the failure of such a relationship:
Loss of trust, inadequate communication, a lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and a lack of intimacy are the main causes of relationship failure.
Initial creation and convenience of such a relationship?
No doubt the initial one is the incidental meeting and then spending the time together to understand each other. Once they feel compatibility with each other, they naturally would like to spend time together for a longer period of time, which would provide them with the convenience as well as a testing phase to try each other out with the sole aim of getting married in the near future.
How much is the success rate of such relations?
In Mumbai, over 50% of couples between the ages of 22 and 28 live together. What is more concerning is that 70% of these live-in couples’ divorce within two years. Similar conditions still exist in other large cities, particularly in Bangalore and Delhi, as far as India is concerned.
Is it legally possible to ban it?
No law authorizes or prohibits such relationships. The Supreme Court declared in Lata Singh v. State of U.P. (2006) that although live-in relationships are viewed as improper, they are not prohibited by law.
Does it affect the Psyches of the partners in both good as well as bad way?
Numerous studies have demonstrated that people in fulfilling relationships feel happier, experience fewer health issues, and live longer. On the other hand, a lack of social connections or dysfunctional relationships is connected to depression, cognitive deterioration, and a higher risk of dying before their time.
Parental contribution in getting such relation created.
More often than not, the first people you ever meet in life are your parents. They set the bar for everything, including the values you adopt, your interests, and most importantly, the way you interact with other people (both romantically and platonically).
‘Live in’ in developed countries versus in India?
According to estimates, 40% to 50% of married couples in France had been living together for at least two years prior to being married. Many couples have given up on getting married and are content to live together. Couples who are living together legally will enjoy the same legal rights as married couples, including social security.
As the percentage of couples living together has climbed to 17.9%, or 3.4 million individuals, in the UK, live-in relationship couples are the fastest-growing family form.
Live-in relationships are recognized as common-law relationships in Canada. In plain English, a common-law partnership is a union between two people who have been living together for a period of time that is legally required for a marriage.
Although there is no legal definition of a live-in relationship in Indian law and no special statute that grants rights to the parties in a live-in relationship, live-in relationships are legal in India. The Supreme Court ruled that although live-in relationships may be considered immoral in some religious and traditional societies, they are not prohibited. Marriage is prioritized over live-in relationships in India.
Is it safe to be in live in- after certain recent episodes of discord resulting in gruesome crimes?
The recent gruesome incidents naturally raise such questions as far as safety and security is concerned. Normally looking to the awareness and intelligence at the attainment of adulthood one would not fail to understand the deep psyche of his/her partner but such a shocking incidence naturally should be a big lesson for everybody before taking up any such step which is going to be a very responsible step of settling in one’s life. If there is any atrocity from the partner towards the girl, she should immediately raise an alarm and immediately cut off such a relationship without giving it any further chance. Extending such a relationship any further is surely inviting trouble in the future. I have a very clear-cut concept in such a case-if the girl is courageous enough to have entered into such a relationship and smells unusual behaviour from her partner later, she should be equally brave enough to take an immediate step to terminate such a cohabitation without any further time line given. This way the further adversities would be avoided very clearly right in the initial stage itself.