Loving Shah Rukh Khan has long been a given. As he completes three decades in the film industry, it’s time to ask why. The answer reveals more about gender inequality than about Khan himself. Women love him because he loves them back—through his movies, his gestures, and his eyes. When he looks at his heroines, sincerity radiates through the screen. It feels personal, as if he is speaking directly to every woman watching. When he asks, “Kya tumne kabhi bhi, ek din ke liye bhi, ek pal ke liye bhi, mujhse pyar kiya tha?” in Dil To Pagal Hai (1997), the line becomes an intimate question shared with millions.
Khan’s gaze is not the usual male gaze. He doesn’t objectify women or try to dominate them. Instead, he looks at them with softness, as if asking for permission to love. He doesn’t wish to conquer; he wants to be conquered. His eyes carry devotion, something rare in a society that teaches women to yield. He reverses that rule. He submits willingly, making surrender an act of power and tenderness.
Author Shrayana Bhattacharya, in her book Desperately Seeking Shah Rukh, explores this phenomenon. She found that women across income levels, religions, and ages connect through him. “In telling me about when, how and why they turned to Shah Rukh, they are telling us about when, how and why the world breaks their heart,” she writes. For many women, he represents an escape from a world that constantly belittles them. He offers empathy, not pity. He offers respect, not rescue.
For me, Khan stands for two things. First, he represents the romance I’ve dreamed of. Second, he embodies success and independence. I want to be loved like his heroines, but I also want to be him—confident, admired, and self-made. His charm is not just in his smile, but in the dignity he carries.
In Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi (2008), his character Surinder changes himself to make his wife happy. He puts effort into love, showing care without ego. When Khan spreads his arms wide, it feels safe to step in. For many women, that safety is revolutionary.
The actor himself once explained this magic. In a 2017 interview with Anupama Chopra, Khan said, “You have to empower a woman’s emotions for a love story to work—not just the woman, but her emotions.” That single line captures his appeal. He places women at the heart of the story. His gestures—tucking hair behind an ear, fasting with Simran in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (1995), or crying openly in Kal Ho Naa Ho (2003)—make vulnerability desirable in men.
Thirty-three years later, Shah Rukh Khan remains a rare kind of icon. As Bhattacharya writes, he is a “female icon, even if his characters aren’t always feminist.” That distinction matters. He gave women something most heroes never did—a sense of being seen, heard, and adored on their own terms. And that is worth celebrating.
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